


A Bone to Pick

by Brushfire_Wyndragon



Series: Angry Empress/Dragon Jester's Tale AU [1]
Category: Kung Fu Panda - All Media Types, Steven Universe - Fandom, Undertale, crossover - Fandom
Genre: Crossover, Gen, How They Met, baby bones, how they got there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-10
Updated: 2016-04-18
Packaged: 2018-06-01 12:36:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6519958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brushfire_Wyndragon/pseuds/Brushfire_Wyndragon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>World building for my Angry Empress AU (for lack of a better name yet):</p><p>Masters Croc, Ox, and Rhino are searching for new students for the Academy for the Guidance and Education of Wit and Tomfoolery, a place that teaches young furlings how to be bards, jesters, and spies, along with training them in kung fu. While journeying through the Dragon Empire, they find a young bear thief with a blue jacket, skeleton markings, and a penchant for puns...although he seems willing enough to go, the bard masters have no idea what he's running from, or what he's bringing with him</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Bone to Pick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: I haven't been able to write much because of my college classes these last two semesters, but in my intro to creative writing class I did learn a better way of dividing paragraphs when someone is speaking. So just some minor edits throughout this work.

It was a sunny, cloudless day, and Master Croc found himself wondering again why the Academy had sent him and his companions out to this quiet little corner of the Dragon Empire. Of course, it was to find potential students, as most sojourns from the Academy were, but Master Croc, Master Thundering Rhino, and Master Storming Ox had not found any promising prospects in this tiny village. The Academy for the Guidance and Education of Wit and Tomfoolery did not take just anyone, although they took students from all walks of life. The only place on the continent of Runedren that hadn't sent students to the Academy was the human lands, and they had cut themselves off from the furling nations long before. As he followed Ox and Rhino through the streets, Croc noted a hot dog stand on the sidewalk. While it did fit in between the buildings, such things were much more common in places like Zootopia. As the trio of bard masters passed around the corner, they suddenly heard the villagers yelling.

“Thief! Stop! Thief! It's that weird panda again!”

Just then, a kid in a blue coat was walking past them, and when he glanced at Rhino, Croc, and Ox, they could see, although he looked like a panda, his muzzle was striped. “That's...not a panda...,” Ox observed, and the kid ran, sensing that he'd been found out. The masters immediately followed; thieves did very well at the Academy, after all. Although graduates usually trafficked in information, sometimes stealing physical objects was necessary. The young bear was fast, but the masters could easily work in tandem. Croc and Ox herded the boy toward Rhino, but before the master could catch the kid, the little bear summoned a bone dragon.

Only then did Rhino unfasten the hammer from his back, slamming the weapon into the beast's skull. It screamed, dissipating into a blue, misty light, which quickly faded, but the furling child had already run off again. “Chi it is, then,” Ox ran by as Rhino replaced his hammer on his back, slamming his cloven digits together to create a storm cloud. The villagers were starting to gather, watching the masters' chase. Although chi was common among furlings, it manifested differently in each person.

“Get ready!” Rhino grabbed Croc and tossed him at the storm cloud, which held the reptilian furling.

“That...almost wasn't enough time...,” Croc growled a bit, getting his levitation ability up just in time. Still, he scanned the buildings as the cloud moved forward, guided by Ox as he and Rhino followed on foot. “There he is!” Croc spotted the boy down an alleyway, and the cloud shot out a lightning bolt, making Croc jump and almost lose his seat.

“We're trying to catch the kid, not kill him!” Rhino admonished Ox.

“I'm not aiming for him!” the other master shot back as the young furling easily dodged the bolts, but he was definitely slowing down. The localized storm was having its intended effect, and the boy finally slipped in a puddle of rainwater as Ox and Rhino ran into the alley, landing rather hard on his stomach. Croc jumped onto a nearby rooftop as the cloud dissipated. Rhino got to the young furling first, helping the dazed child to his knees. The acrobatic reptilian master had gotten to the ground using a fire escape when he saw the look on Rhino's face. A red stain was spreading across the boy's shirt, hastened by the rain. Ox deactivated the spell.

The child saw the look of worry and guilt on Rhino's face and was a bit confused until he glanced down at his shirt. Pulling out the shirt hem from where it was tucked into his shorts, he pulled the fabric up to reveal three squished hot dogs spilling out of their packages. Ketchup everywhere. They had been neatly wrapped and would have stayed that way if he hadn't landed on them. “ _* frankly, I can't believe I've dog-gone and done this..._ ,” the little bear joked, trying to diffuse the situation. Rhino relaxed, relieved and finally recognizing the scent of tomato. The master clapped a hand on the boy's shoulder.

“I think we've found our new student,” he declared as Ox and Croc came closer.

“What's your name?” Master Ox asked.

“ _*...Sans...what do you mean?_ ” the young bear answered, mentally chiding himself for making a pun instead of running when he had the chance. The adults now had him boxed in, although they did seem worried about him.

“We're from the Academy, also known as 'AGEWiT'. Have you heard of us?” Ox asked.

“ _*...I think. Isn't that where jesters go? Seems kinda funny, if that's even why you had a bone to pick with me..._ ,” Sans crossed his arms, realizing belatedly he was smearing the ketchup more.

“Perhaps we can explain more about why we think you'd be a good candidate...after you get cleaned up?” Croc suggested, gesturing toward the stained shirt.

“I think I saw a sign for a laundro-mage earlier. I could take your shirt over there,” Rhino remembered.

“Yes, and maybe we should get him something to eat as well,” Ox glanced at the hot dogs lying forgotten on the ground. Sans gathered up what he could; at least the buns were squished and not falling out of the packages. He tossed the remains in a nearby dumpster and turned to face the three adults again. They did seem concerned about him. The Academy did sound good, even if being a jester did not sound so appealing. It seemed like it might be a safe place, with a warm bed, no need for money...and Papyrus would be...could he trust them?

“ _*Gaster. Have you heard of him?_ ” Sans demanded, but from the confused looks the masters exchanged Sans could tell, no, they certainly didn't. “ _*will I be safe there? Can you promise me that I will be safe?_ ” the young furling continued.

“I assure you that you will be safe. You have our word,” Ox answered solemnly. Croc pulled out his phone, a grey rectangle that opened up into a compact magic mirror.

“Hi, Croccy!” the little spirit inside greeted him before he could silence it.

“What did it call you?” Rhino gave the reptilian furling a bemused expression but was just waved off.

“...none of your business!” Croc finally turned the phone around and handed it to Sans. The usual metallic reflection had been replaced with a picture of Master Croc and a group of young reptilian furlings, of which only a few were of recognizable species, all standing by a large sign announcing the name of the school.

“This is me and some of the enrolling class a few years ago,” Croc explained. Sans looked between the magic compact and the crocodilian furling. It did seem rather convenient. The young bear sighed and looked up begrudgingly. “ _*alright, I trust you. Let's talk._ ”


	2. No Bones About It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ((I'm debating whether to say chi or magic. Although there are mages in this world, the magic demonstrated so far by the characters is not the same sort of magic that mages have.))
> 
> Further world-building, along with Sans' decision and the introduction of Papyrus.

Sans realized Croc was staring at him, and the young furling followed his gaze to see that the reptilian was looking at his chest. He was really glad he had a chance to wash the ketchup off in the river before coming to the restaurant. “Ah...uh, is that a tattoo?” the master asked, catching himself. Sans was a bear with black and white fur, but he was no panda. His belly fur was black, with white stripes wrapping around his chest, reminiscent of a rib cage.

“ _*no. It's just...my markings_ ,” the kid shrugged. His brother had the markings, too, but Paps was built more like a feline.

Ox came back with the trays of food just as Sans heard his belly growl again. “...do you often have trouble finding food?” the bovine master inquired, divvying up the food.

“ _*I...do odd jobs, here and there. There's sometimes...not enough money left over for food after...after paying rent...but I...grin and bear it_ ,” Sans tried to smile as he opened his burger box. The two master shared a glance as they sat across from the young bear. He ripped open the fry box to use it as a plate and added ketchup. “ _*so, um, what's the Academy like, Master Croc?_ ” the young furling finally asked.

“Oh, the Academy doesn't just teach about being a jester. Rhino, Ox, and I are bards,” Croc explains.

“ _*bards, huh? That doesn't look like a guitar on Rhino's back_ ,” Sans pointed out as the master came into the restaurant carrying the clean shirt. Rhino headed toward the table but found himself greeted by a young lion cub, who couldn't have been older than ten. The boy had a green heart bracelet and a matching shirt, along with an apron which suggested he belonged to one of the employees. Rhino grinned and greeted him back, but as the excited cub watched the master head to the table, he bounced slightly. Suddenly, the little lion glowed and wasn't a lion anymore.

The lioness luckily noticed and yanked her son behind the counter, although one of the other customers now stared dumbly where the child had stood. She reached into his shirt to pull out the necklace that had broken. “Please be careful with your glamour, hun. I don't mind that you're human, but other furlings might not understand,” she whispered, quickly retying the string and replacing it on his neck. The boy nodded and bit down on the charm, which looked like a cross between a Yin-Yang and a pair of nuzzling faces. The glamour reactivated, making him look like a lion again, and one of the timers in the kitchen went off. “I'll have to see about reinforcing it...oh, that's the fryer!” the lioness ran back into the kitchen.

“The Academy also trains all its students in kung fu, no matter what they specialize in,” Ox explained as Rhino handed Sans the clean shirt. The young bear stood and took off his jacket to put the shirt back on, and Rhino finally sat down to eat.

The timer in the kitchen went off, and Croc noticed the lioness run to check it. “I hope the cashier's not working alone,” he mentioned.

“ _*so...the students learn how to be fighters, huh? What if one of the students...wanted to be, say...a knight?_ ” Sans asked, trying to be casual.

“Then this 'student' sounds like a bard, since bards can be less secretive in their travels, despite also being able to spy and steal if it comes up,” Ox explained before taking a bite.

“ _*would they be allowed to wear fancy armor?_ ” the young bear continued.

“I don't see why not. There's not really a uniform for a bard,” Croc pointed out, and Sans sat musing for a moment.

“ _*...what if I...bringsomeonewithme?_ ” he ran the last few words together, and the three masters glanced at each other.

“That depends,” Rhino answered.

“ _*if he's not allowed to go, then I'd have no reason to go_ ,” the young bear crossed his arms.

“Sans...you and your friend can come to the Academy and be safe, even if one or both of you decide not to become students. I know the word of a stranger doesn't mean much, but whatever you're trying to get away from, you'll both be safe at the Academy,” Ox declared, and Sans became quiet and thought. The skeleton bear opened his mouth to speak as the clock in the restaurant's dining room rang to announce 3 o'clock.

“ _*it's three already? I'm going to be late!_ ” the boy ran toward the door, frantic, only to run back to the table. “ _*time sure fries, doesn't it?_ ” he opened a burger box and haphazardly dumped a pack of fries in, trying to stuff them in around the buns.

Rhino held up a hand to stop Sans. “Wait...could we have a bag over here, please?” the master called over to the lioness who had just returned to the counter.

“Oh, sure!” she sent her son around with the bag, and Sans crammed the overflowing burger box into it, along with two more boxes and another pack of fries. Then he ran toward the door again, calling over his shoulder.

“ _*franks, er, thanks...for everything!_ ”

“I wonder, was that a yes or a no?” Rhino observed.

“I wanna know why he ordered three burgers and three fries when we said he could have anything he wanted, but then he only ate half a burger and one pack of fries. And he even forgot his drink,” Croc gestured at the to-go cup.

“The friend Sans was talking about...they're probably younger than he is. He's trying to protect them,” Ox explained, and the reptilian master became quiet, looking a little guilty.

“Hopefully we can find him again. We could still make sure Sans and his friend are safe, even if they ultimately don't come with us,” Rhino said, and the other masters nodded in agreement.

. . .

Sans quickly opened the door of the tiny apartment to find his brother at the table doing his homework. “ **SANS!** ” Papyrus leapt up from the table and tackled his brother. The bear took care to keep the fast food bag out of harm's way, and the younger furling grew even more excited at the sight of it. “ **YOU GOT PAID A LOT TODAY!** ” the feline grinned.

“ _*uh, sure. Sorry I'm late. How was class today, bro?_ ” Sans tried to change the subject as he closed the door.

“ **I HAD FUN. AND WE LEARNED THAT A HUMAN ASASSIFIED EMPRESS TORIEL'S FATHER. I THOUGHT SHE LIKED HUMANS, THOUGH. THE PRINCI WAS HUMAN. I REMEMBER SEEING THEM WITH THE PRINCE AND THE PRINCESS WHEN WE WERE ALL STILL AT THE JADE PALACE. WHY WOULD THE EMPRESS ADOPT A HUMAN IF THEY'RE AS BAD AS PEOPLE SAY? THE TEACHER JUST SAID THERE WERE GOOD AND BAD HUMANS, JUST LIKE THERE'S GOOD AND BAD FURLINGS. THAT REALLY DIDN'T HELP** ,” Papyrus gushed.

“ _*I...see. What if...we moved again? To a place where you can learn to be a knight?_ ” the older brother suggested.

“ **WE'RE GOING BACK TO THE JADE PALACE?** ” Papyrus wriggled in excitement.

“ _*well, no_ ,” Sans started, but his brother's face had already fallen.

“ **ARE WE EVER GOING BACK? I KNOW DAD GOT THE EMPRESS SICK, BUT THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT, RIGHT?** ” the black and white cat asked.

“ _*I'm...not sure we can. I had to get us away from there...but I...I've found a place where it seems we'll really...have a ball_ ,” the bear answered.

“ **A PLACE WHERE I CAN PLAY BASKETBALL AGAIN? AND LEARN HOW TO BE A KNIGHT? WHEN CAN WE GO?** ” Paps' face had lit up again.

“ _*have dinner, and pack your things. I need to go talk to the landlord_ ,” Sans handed Paps the bag, and the younger furling ran over to the table and pulled out a burger box. This attracted the attention of the room's other resident. A small dog slipped out from under the blanket on the couch, which served as Papyrus' bed in the small apartment.

“ **CAN WE KEEP HIM? HE FOLLOWED ME HOME TODAY!** ” Paps announced proudly, feeding the dog a fry. Sans just looked from one to the other, incredulous.

“ _*dog-gone it..._ ”


	3. Tibia Honest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans and Papyrus arrive at the Academy and make some new friends; the masters learn why the bone bros were living alone

“It's...about 5:30 now,” Croc said, stepping outside the restaurant to rejoin Rhino and Ox.

“How much longer should we wait on him?” the reptilian bard asked. “If they do decide to come with us...they will need time to pack. Since we need to leave tomorrow morning, I would like to know tonight. Maybe we should--,” Ox started when Rhino interrupted him.

“Is that what I think it is?” the large furling wondered, pointing up at the sky. When his companions looked, they noticed a gleam of white that swooped down, almost slamming into Rhino's horn. Almost. The bone dragon glared icily at Rhino with glowing blue eyes. “You, ah, remember me. How's Sans?” Rhino seemed surprised, but he didn't move.

“Sans sent you, didn't he? Could you show us where he is?” Ox tried to distract the bone dragon, and it turned to him, nodding. Giving one last glare to Rhino, the bony summon looped around Croc to sniff him and glided away, the serpentine body undulating slightly as it guided the three masters through the streets. The beast's skull was not much larger than the head of the Cloud Hammer, save for its bony horns. About ten minutes later, the bone dragon finally led them to a cramped apartment building and up two flights of steps. It wasn't until after the beast had knocked on the door and knew Sans had seen the masters before the bone dragon left the physical place in a puff of blue smoke, its task done for the moment.

“ _*oh, hey. This is my little bro, Papyrus. I was afraid Blaster wasn't going to find you_ ,” Sans stepped aside to let the masters into the tiny apartment.

“ **HI!** ” Papyrus waved as he helped pack a large trunk by the couch. The small white dog beside him started to bark.

“ _*it's okay, Toby. These are friends_ ,” Sans explained, but the little dog huffed and jumped up on the couch. The apartment was sparse but clean now that the masters were looking around. There was a kitchenette, a small table, a little wagon, and something covered with a sheet beside the couch. There were two doors along one wall, both open to reveal a closet and a bathroom. With three large furlings, the apartment felt even smaller.

“You didn't say anything about a dog,” Ox pointed out, but Sans shrugged.

“ _*tibia-nest, we didn't have a dog earlier. Toby followed Paps home from school today. The school is fine with us leaving, by the way. They gave us Paps' records for the Academy, but the landlord doesn't want to let us go, even though our oral contract is month to month_ ,” Sans complained.

“I see that isn't stopping you from leaving. Where is your landlord? In this building?” Ox inquired, and the skelly bear nodded and gave him directions.

“How old are you two, anyway?” Croc asked after Ox had left.

“ **I'M NINE!** ” Paps declared happily, but his brother hesitated.

“ _*...fourteen_ ,” Sans answered as he turned to finish packing.

“Nine is a bit younger than our youngest students usually are, but that just means he'll get a special curriculum until he hits eleven. As for fourteen...we've had first time students enroll in their twenties, which is when most students have completed their studies and are just training until they're chosen to take a post,” Rhino explained.

“Fourteen? I could have sworn--,” Croc started.

“ _*--that I was younger? Yeah..._ ,” Sans didn't finish as he continued to pack.

“ **SO SANS AND I ARE GOING TO BE KNIGHTS LIKE YOU?** ” Paps asks Rhino, wide-eyed in excitement. The master realized that Sans was giving him a very pointed look.

“I'm not exactly a knight, but I'm certain you will be,” Rhino grinned at the black and white furling kitten.

“We were planning on leaving tomorrow morning, but it looks like you don't want to stay here tonight. I guess we could get another room in the inn where we've been staying,” Croc suggested since Sans didn't look like he wanted help packing.

“ _*alright. As long as we can get out of here_ ,” the young bear answered. The reptilian master became aware of the dog on the couch as he moved. He reached out, letting the dog sniff his green claws experimentally. When the dog stayed alert, Croc gently patted its head, and the dog just panted.

“I talked to the landlord. He decided to give your safety deposit back. His idea,” Ox returned, dropping a bag of money into the boys' trunk.

“ _*will we need money at the Academy?_ ” Sans asked, confused.

“No. Textbooks, clothing, room and board, food, and any supplies you'll need for your classes are covered...but, if you want something special, like a toy or a game or something that you find in the nearby villages or the Mirrornet, you will need money,” Croc explained.

“ _*I see. I'm almost done here_ ,” the older skeleton furling tied a red blanket to his brother's collar.

“ **DO YOU LIKE MY CAPE?** ” Papyrus asked the masters.

“Red. Very heroic,” Rhino chuckled. The young bear finally went over to the shrouded object in the corner and pulled off the sheet. Underneath was a mirror, silver with a gold frame. The mirror had a simple design, with the middle made to turn between the legs of the frame.

“Why do you have that?” Ox asked, worried.

“ _*sometimes, I like to reflect_ ,” Sans grinned. The mirror reflected the room, but not him.

“That's not even a normal magic mirror. That thing's dangerous,” Ox warned.

“...that's an Eluvian?” Croc asked.

“No, Eluvians are much more ornate. This is a Portal. While Eluvians can take you to other places in the world...Portals take you to other worlds,” the bovine master explained.

“ _*the Portal won't let anything through, anyway...this one...belonged to our father, though...he modified it_ ,” Sans said, pushing something on the back of the mirror. It began to fold in on itself and ended up about the size of a hardcover book. “ _*I can't just leave it behind. Besides, wouldn't the Portal be safer at the Academy?_ ” the bear asked, placing the mirror in his trunk. The masters begrudgingly nodded in agreement; they could tell there was no talking him out of it.

“ **IS FLUFFY BUNNY IN THERE?** ” Paps became agitated as he remembered his favorite book.

“ _*yes, bro. I got it_ ,” Sans held the book up before replacing it in the trunk and locking the lid. Soon the trunk was loaded in the red wagon, and the masters, the two brothers, and their dog left the apartment.

The night was luckily quiet, but the masters noticed that Sans looked tired the next morning as they loaded the boys' belongings into their cart. The trek to the Academy took a week, and Toby surprisingly stayed with the group. The small dog earned the moniker of “annoying,” however, when Papyrus tried to show off his chi to the masters. While he was not yet strong enough to summon bone dragons like his older brother, the skeleton cat could summon bones, one of which Toby ran off with and tried to bury. He was a loyal dog, though, and refused to leave Papyrus for very long. The masters also learned the story of the fluffy bunny very well.

The group took a chilly path through the mountains, but it was warmer once they got to the other side. Papyrus had fallen asleep on Croc's back, but Sans was greeted with the sight of a high wall that hid the Academy from view. The gatekeepers let them inside, and Sans saw the campus for the first time. A large castle stood in the middle, built from many differing styles as additions were added over the years. Sporting fields and various buildings dotted the hilly landscape around the castle, and there were people everywhere. Sans finally let himself relax. He had been worried about trusting Master Thundering Rhino, Master Storming Ox, and Master Croc, but when he saw the other students joking and chatting, he felt relieved.

“Wake up, kiddo,” Croc gently woke the cub on his back. Paps slid down to the ground and looked around, excited but shy. He clung to his brother as they headed inside. The masters took the boys to one of the school's break rooms since the great hall wouldn't be open for dinner yet.

When the cooks asked what the boys wanted to eat, Papyrus declared, “ **SPAGHETTI! I MISSED SPAGHETTI!** ” The cooks laughed heartily and returned to the kitchen.

They had not waited long when a pale red panda and a tortoise walked in. “This is Grandmaster Oogway and Assistant Grandmaster Shifu,” Ox introduced them.

“When I had heard that these three had come back with new students, I had to see for myself. You won't officially start classes until the fall semester, but we will prepare you in the meantime,” Oogway smiled warmly.

“They're not students yet. We don't know their qualifications,” Shifu pointed out.

“Hmm. I have a good feeling about them. They will pass. You are...Sans and Papyrus, am I right?” the turtle continued. Sans was a bit shocked, but then he thought that the masters that had brought him to the Academy had passed his name along to Oogway. The young bear nodded as his younger brother cheerfully greeted the grandmaster. “Do you have any questions?” Oogway asked.

“ **COULD I FINALLY HAVE A RACE CAR BED?** ” Paps piped up.

Oogway laughed. “I'll see about having one sent up to your dorm room. Shifu, see what else these boys will need to make this place feel like home. I need to talk to Ox, Rhino, and Croc,” the tortoise continued, patting Toby. Shifu reluctantly turned to the brothers while Oogway gestured for the three masters to follow him into the kitchen. Seeing the way the masters stood around Oogway, the two chefs tried hard not to listen in. “Do you know who you found?” the turtle solemnly asked the masters.

“They were running from something. Since Sans didn't volunteer the reason, I didn't pry,” Ox answered.

“Have you ever heard of someone named 'Gaster'?” Oogway continued.

“Sans asked if we had, but no. Who is Gaster?” Croc asked.

“W.D. Gaster was once the high tinkerer of the Dragon Empire. You know that Empress Toriel has lost her father, two husbands, and two children,” the tortoise didn't wait for a reply. “Gaster was experimenting with reincarnation. Not just coming back with a new life, but returning to the old life. Human magic can bring someone back from the dead, but the power of their Soul Gems are limited. If furling chi or magic has something similar, it has not been discovered yet, and I do not fully understand pony magic or Living Gem magic.

“Gaster...was attempting to bring back at least one of the Empress' loved ones. He was using his own chi, along with a volunteered supply, but he was devoured by one of his experiments. Not just in our world; he blinked out of existence across the multiverse. There must have been great confusion in the Jade Palace when they realized they didn't know why Sans and Papyrus were living there,” Oogway finished.

“ **THERE'S NO WAY _TELLING PUNS_ CAN BE A JOB!** ” Paps cried out in the break room.

“I've been to the Jade Palace before, but I don't remember Gaster,” Rhino wondered.

“That's just it. You can't. You didn't volunteer any of your chi,” the tortoise said gravely. “If they remember...we need to keep them safe...and try to find their mothers.”

The masters nodded, and Oogway bowed to dismiss them. The cooks hurriedly finished as the masters left, and they brought Papyrus his spaghetti. Sans didn't eat as much as he should have. Even after a week of having enough food, the skeleton bear was still stuck in protective mode; going without so he was sure his brother didn't go hungry. After their dinner, the brothers were led up to their dorm room. The brothers soon realized they were to share the room with two other students, a monkey and a tuxedo cat. The cat was not a “feral” furling, which referred to how a furling looked rather than temperament. He had a human-like mane of hair that looked about shoulder length pulled into a ponytail.

“Oh, so that race car must be for one of you, huh?” the monkey grinned, hanging inside his bunk bed. Paps gasped when he saw his new bed. The staff had modified one of the other bunk beds, removing the bottom to replace it with the race car. The feline went over and jumped on it, his dog following. The monkey swung down to land in front of Sans. “I'm Nao Monkey, but everyone just calls me Monkey,” he held his hand out to the bear. When Sans shook it, he received a slight shock.

“ _*hey, watch your conduct_ ,” the bear poked Monkey's shoulder, laughing.

“Yeah, he's like that. My name is Greg,” the cat introduced himself from the top bunk.

“ _*so, you're studying to be a bard?_ ” Sans guessed, looking the guitar and the shirt Greg was wearing. It was red with a single yellow star.

“Yeah,” the teenage cat played a chord.

“ _*there's not anyone else in here, is there?_ ” the ursine furling looked at the single empty bunk bed.

“Nah, just the four us now. Unless they add people when summer's over. That's unlikely, though,” Monkey climbed back into his bunk to work on some homework. Sans glanced at Paps and Toby hanging out on the race car bed before climbing up to his bunk. It was a relief to finally not to worry so much.

Shifu had decided that Papyrus should study puzzles since the young feline enjoyed them so much. He'd also suggested that Sans be a jester for his penchant for jokes and puns. The young ursine knew he had time to figure it out, though, since he wouldn't be Sorted until the fall semester. Sans let out a sigh, falling asleep in his blue jacket.


	4. Not Really Humerus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of this short story. It's the beginning of the fall semester. New students are arriving, and old students are returning to see friends who live at the school year round. Sans and Papyrus go through the Sorting, and their little group gets some new roommates. Even with new friends, Sans does not want to forget the old ones.
> 
> The song the Sorting Cap sings is called "Just Stand Up" and seems to be by a bunch of different singers https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAhpdXMh7NY

“Po...Po, wake up! C'mon!”

The panda rubbed his eyes as he came to and glanced up at his twin sister. “Ugh...when did I fall asleep? Are we there yet?” he shifted and looked around inside the carriage, trying to get his bearings.

“Yes, look!” she nudged him to look, so he pulled back the curtain on his side. Their carriage was in a long line of other vehicles, and Po noticed an Ilinkor bus ahead, turning into the gate. In fact, there were vehicles from several different countries on Runedren. Since they weren't to the gate yet, Po and his sister gathered up their phones and games and packed up the things they had in the cabin with them.

Just as they finished, a footman opened the door and helped the twins out. Po gazed up at the castle in awe for a few moments before realizing his sister was biting her lip. “...worried what the other students will think of half markings, Mu Mu?” he asked. The panda had one eyespot; somehow a dragon marking had replaced the other, stretching for her right ear to her right eye. She nodded, and her brother squeezed her white paw fondly. “Heh, I don't even understand where that came from: 'half markings are unlucky'. I don't think anyone here would have heard it either...but either way, I got your back,” he grinned.

“And I got yours,” Mu Mu grinned back.

The twins joined the crowd of new students being directed inside the school. As the group moved down a hallway toward the Great Hall, Po felt someone tug on his sleeve. “ **SANS, THERE WEREN'T THIS MANY PEOPLE BEFORE. DO YOU THINK ANY OF THEM WILL LIKE ME?** ” Papyrus looked up to see he was looking at a very confused panda and realized the blue sleeve he was holding didn't belong to his brother's jacket.

“ **WAIT, YOU'RE NOT SANS! SANS! SANS!** ” the skelly cat spun around, trying to find his brother in the crowd.

“We'll be your friends,” Mu Mu took the kitten's paw.

“Yeah, let's find...Sans, was it?” Po took the other while Papyrus looked at them uncertainly.

“ _*stay close to me, Paps. There's...wait, Paps? Papyrus?_ ” Sans called as he realized what had happened. Greg stood up on his toes, trying to see over the crowd milling loosely about them.

“I don't see—ahh, Monkey!” the tuxedo cat growled as the langur furling climbed up onto the feline's shoulders, planting a foot on his head, reminiscent of a pirate. Monkey surveyed the Great Hall from his position, holding a hand to his forehead. “Hurry up and find him so you can GET YOUR FEET OUT OF MY MANE!” Greg demanded.

Shifu spotted Po, Mu Mu, and Papyrus, and, recognizing all three, ushered them into the Great Hall while he and the other masters stayed in the hallway directing traffic. As the panda twins and Papyrus followed the rest of the crowd, Po was hit in the face, and he caught the object. “Did...did I just get hit with a banana?” the panda looked at the fruit in his hand.

“ **MONKEY!** ” Papyrus cried, and suddenly there was a hail of bananas, parting the loose crowd. “ **SANS!** ” the young feline saw his brother and their friends on the other side of one of the long tables and pulled Po and Mu Mu over to sit at the bench across from Sans, Greg, and Monkey.

“ _*make some friends, Paps?_ ” Sand grinned, relieved to see his brother was alright.

“ **YES!** ” Papyrus' enthusiasm made the pandas giggle.

“This is Po,” Mu Mu pointed to her brother over the skelly cat seated between them.

“And this is Mu Mu,” Po pointed back.

“ _*thanks for finding my brother. Twins, right? I feel like I'm seeing double_ ,” Sans teased playfully, getting the panda furlings to laugh.

“Wait, you two are first-years, right? How did you get in already?”Monkey asked. The main student body had already seated themselves, but the nervous first-years stood near the door. With the encouragement of the masters and the rest of the staff, they slowly made their way to their seats, sitting with friends or hoping to find new ones.

“I hope you don't mind, but...is that a tattoo?” Greg asked, tapping his temple, but Mu Mu shook her head.

“It's my familial marking. It's a panda thing,” she explains.

“Kinda like a birthmark, but...we're born without any markings...you two...do look kinda like pandas...but you're a cat, right? I didn't think I'd see blessed Pandarens here,” Po looked between Sans and Papyrus.

“ **YES. YOUR MARKING LOOKS LIKE A DRAGON. DOES YOUR MARKING LOOK LIKE A DRAGON? WHERE IS IT, PO?** ” the younger bone bro asked. Po looked horrified while Mu Mu laughed, leaning over the table while Paps just looked between the twins.

“...is it on his butt?” Monkey smirked.

“Yes,” Mu Mu grinned conspiratorially at the teenage boys across from her.

“Well, it could be worse, like an embarrassing tattoo or something,” Greg pointed out, and Po nodded, starting to smile again as Grandmaster Oogway approached the podium by the masters' table.

“We have so many new students this year. Welcome...to the Academy for the Guidance and Education of Wit and Tomfoolery. Some of you first-years have not chosen whether you want to be bards, spies, or fools. Do not worry; that can be decided in the Sorting...and, if something happens later in your years here at the Academy, and you realize you need a different path...just ask, and we can make the necessary arrangements for you. Now, before we begin the Sorting...the Sorting Cap will sing us a song,” the old tortoise explained as Shifu set the Sorting Cap on a stool in front of the podium.

The cap looked like any jester's cap, well cared for with three belled tails of purple, pink, and green. “I get that the hat is probably enchanted, but it's going to sing?” Po looked across the table. Monkey was smiling smugly, but Greg nodded.

“ _*this is what the Sorting is? I didn't think the process was...a hat_ ,” Sans said.

“Reminds me of what I heard of that magic school across the pond,” Mu Mu pointed out.

“ _The heart is stronger than you think. It's like it can go through anything, and even when you think it can't, it finds a way to still push on, though_ ,” a feminine voice with accompanying music suddenly spread through the hall.

“ **Sometimes you want to run away. Ain't got the patience for the pain, and if you don't believe it, look into your heart! the beat goes on** ,” a second voice rose.

“I'm tellin' you that, things get better through whatever. If you fall, dust it off. Don't let up,” a third voice joined in. Not everyone was actually listening to the singing.

“ _*...whyyyyy?_ ” Sans looked reproachfully at Greg and Monkey.

“It's a nice enough song, but...haaaaat...,” Po hid his face on the table, and Mu Mu leaned behind Papyrus to poke her brother in the ribs.

“I know. It sings a different song every year. It sounds like the cap thinks we're going to have a problem with bullying this year or something,” Greg explained as Po sat up and rubbed his side, glaring at his sister, who glared back.

“ **WHY DON'T YOU LIKE THIS SONG? I LIKE IT** ,” Paps asked, but Po was at a loss to explain, making Mu Mu laugh.

“ _Don't you know you can go be your own miracle. You need to know._ If the mind keeps thinking you've had enough, but the heart keeps telling you don't give up. Who are we to be questioning, wondering what is what? Don't give up. THROUGH IT ALL, JUST STAND UP! **It's like we all have better days. Problems getting all up in your face. Just because you go through it. Don't mean it got to take control, no, You ain't gotta find no hiding place** because the heart can beat the hate. _Don't wanna let your mind keep playin' you_ and sayin' you can't go on. _I'm tellin' you that_ **things get better through whatever!**

“ _If you fall,_ **dust if off, don't let up!** Don't you know you **can go** _be your own_ miracle? _You need to know_ ,” the Sorting Cap sang in three part harmony, but then all three voices sang as one. “ ** _If the mind keeps thinking you've had enough, but the heart keeps telling you don't give up. Who are we to be questioning, wondering what is what? Don't give up! THROUGH IT ALL, JUST STAND UP!_** **You don't gotta be a prisoner in your mind!** _If you fall, dust it off!_ You can live your life. **Yeah. Let your heart be your guide. Yeah, yeah, yeah.** And you will know that you're good if you trust in the good. Everything will be alright, yeah. Light up the dark, if you follow your heart. 

“ _And it will get better through whatever._ **_If the mind keeps thinking you've had enough, but the heart keeps telling you don't give up. Who are we to be questioning, wondering what is what? Don't give up! THROUGH IT ALL, JUST STAND UP!_ You got it in you, find it within! You got it in now, find it within now! You got it in you, find it within!** You got it in now, find it within now! You got it in you, find it within! _You got it in now, find it within now! Find it within you, find it within! **THROUGH IT ALL, JUST STAND UP!!**_ ” the Sorting Cap finally finished.

Shifu cleared his throat and dashed up to the podium to begin calling up the first-years. The Sorting Cap called out bard, spy, or jester for each student, bells jingling as its three voices joked and consoled them. After a while, Po's ears perked up. “Oh, we're at the L's,” he observed, glancing at Mu Mu. She nodded and turned to climb off the bench. An older girl, a hyena furling, saw that the panda was trying to get up, so she scooched over to give the first-year room.

“Mulan Long,” the Assistant Grandmaster called, and Mu Mu headed up front as Po got up.

Mu Mu took a deep breath as she sat on the stool, and Grandmaster Oogway placed the Sorting Cap on her head. “ **Ah, clever girl.** _We can see what you'd like to be._ Are you sure, my dear?” the enchanted headpiece asked.

“Y-yes...my brother...we're going to do this together. As a team,” the young panda answered.

“ _Good._ **Very good.** You'll need to work very hard. **Yeah, there hasn't been a woman who's managed to do it yet.** _Not that any of them were incapable, no._ You certainly aren't incapable either. **Kids can be mean. Are you sure this is what you want?** ” the hat asked again. Mu Mu was quiet for a moment before answering.

“Yes.”

“ _ **Jester!**_ ” the Sorting Cap declared, and Oogway lifted it from Mu Mu's head as the students cheered like they had after every Sorting.

“Po Khan Long,” Shifu called, but he was already beside his sister. The twins traded places.

“Ooh, twins. _So you're the brother._ **This one is clever, too. He will do well.** Take good care of your sister. _You're supposed to be a team, after all._ **Kids can be mean. We know what you want** ,” the hat didn't even give him a chance to speak. “ ** _Jester!_** ” the hat announced to more cheering, and the twins returned to their seats. The Sorting continued before another familiar name was called.

“Papyrus Skeltin!”

“ _*Paps, that's you. Get up, bro_ ,” Sans urged, getting ready himself.

“ **BUT THAT'S NOT—OH! OH, YEAH!** ” the little cat jumped up and ran to the front to be Sorted. The cap slid down almost to his shoulders. It was surprisingly brief.

“ ** _Puzzle knight!_** ” the Sorting Cap declared. People started to clap, but it devolved into confusion. Shifu cleared his throat. “ _Fine. 'Bard'._ Pfft. **He's totally a puzzle knight, though** ,” the hat scoffed, making the students and some of the masters laugh.

“Sans Skeltin!”

The skelly bear took his brother's place, the black and white kitten grinning up at him. “You have no idea what you want? _It's alright. It's not the first time._ **You would make a great jester. Like your panda friends.** _You are very clever._ **People will greatly underestimate you.** Sad, yes, but every great jester is underestimated. _They could not do their jobs if they weren't._ **And we don't mean entertainment.** _That is a small part._ Very small. You must be as conniving as a thief. **You have to collect information and decide if it will help or hinder the ruler you serve.** A good ruler will trust your advice.

“ _*you mean, I could help rule a nation?_ ” Sans realized.

“ **Oh, yes. You have so much potential.** There have been students turned masters who ultimately decided to stay here and be teachers. _It's a bit of a hierarchy, really._ Based on personality and skill. **That isn't to say a spy couldn't do a bard's job, but the spy likely didn't want to be a bard** ,” the Sorting Cap explained.

“ _*...wow. I guess this is just brimming with possibilities_ ,” the young bear thought out loud. “ ** _Puns!_** ” the hat yelled gleefully. There was a faint thud as Shifu's head hit the podium in frustration.

“ ** _Jester!_** ” the Sorting Cap declared when the laughter had died down. Oogway took the hat so Sans could climb down and the sorting could continue. The rest weren't quite so eventful, but Greg and Monkey said that something like that would happen during each year's Sorting. With the Sorting done, dinner began, and the new friends chatted amicably. Po and Greg talked about music and mimicked electric guitars. Papyrus ended up falling asleep, snuggling up against Mu Mu. When dinner was over, Master Croc worked his way through the crowd.

“Uh, Long! Long!”

The panda twins glanced at each other and stayed seated, waiting for the reptilian master to get to them, but obviously rather excited to meet him. “Thank you. Usually first-year students are placed in the dorms alphabetically, but you two have been specially assigned a room,” he handed the twins a sheet of paper to peruse before noticing Papyrus. “Oh, it's little Papyrus. I see you've already met your new roommates, so you two shouldn't have any trouble getting to your room,” Croc grinned and moved away through the crowd.

“ _*roommates? Let me see that_ ,” Sans asked, and Po just managed it, both ursine furlings stretching across the table to do so.

“So it is. Huh. We do have an empty bunk, so with you two, our room is full,” Greg said as Mu Mu persuaded a sleepy Papyrus into climbing onto her back. The small group waited for most of the crowd to disperse before heading upstairs.

“...we got to meet Master Croc,” Po said excitedly.

“You'll get to meet all of them. Just wait,” Monkey grinned at his enthusiasm. As they walked down their hallway, a small white dog came bounding toward them.

“ _*ah, there's Toby. He must not have liked the crowd since he didn't come dinner_ ,” Sans observed as Greg opened the door to their room. It now had the names of all the occupants, including Toby.

“We're allowed pets?” Po asked.

“Yeah, most students don't, but pets are allowed,” Greg explained as they walked in.

“Oh,” the young panda looked disappointed as Mu Mu looked around.

“So the race car must belong to Papyrus?” she guessed.

“ _*yeah. Here_ ,” Sans helped her put Papyrus to bed.

“You left behind a pet, then?” Greg asked as he climbed up to his bunk.

“Yeah, we have a few pets...my dad got me a tiger. An animal. Not a furling. That would be kinda weird...but, I named him King. I think dad intended for him to protect me,” Po answered.

Mu Mu caught Sans giving her brother a strange look, but she didn't speak up. “A tiger, huh? Sounds rather exotic,” Greg chuckled.

“We're from Pandaria...so not really,” Po answered, opening his trunk. “It's so cool how they know what belongs to who,” he observed. The kids all got ready for bed, and the panda twins hung curtains around their bunks. When everyone was bedded down for the night, Sans climbed out of his bunk and grabbed his jacket, heading for the room's small balcony. Slipping the blue garment on, he reached inside and pulled out a folded picture. The folds had left creases, but the people were still visible behind them.

A four year old Papyrus with a gap-toothed smile. A scrawny, twelve year old tiger boy named Biao who always looked a little miserable. A tough, eleven year old fish girl named Undyne, with a toy eyepatch and a finned tail. Prince Asriel, a fourteen year old dragon-goat who closely followed his sibling Princi Chara, a fifteen year old human with rosy cheeks and a tendency to gravitate toward trouble. A nine year old untroubled Sans, and a seven year old Princess Jian Ren. Asriel's little half-sister, Jian Ren looked more like her father, the only features the siblings having in common being little horns and tufted tails. For a time, Empress Toriel had called Jian Ren a princi like Chara, until Jian Ren had said being a girl felt more right. Asriel started calling her “Tigress” after that. It made her happy, but she got upset if anyone besides her brother called her that.

Sans watched the picture move again and again, seeing the six friends make flower crowns for the little tiger princess and play in the royal gardens. It wasn't until Papyrus tugged on his sleeve that the ursine furling realized he'd been crying. Paps took the picture. He didn't really remember Chara and Asriel since it was not long after the princess came out that the human had gotten sick. “ **...will we ever get to go back to the Jade Palace?** ” the kitten looked up at his brother, speaking without his usual enthusiasm. Sans sighed.

“ _*...I don't know, bro._ ”


End file.
